Tapping into Ambivalence

Ambivalence is defined as having mixed feelings about a person or thing. It can also be extended to include a feeling often experienced during decision making. Many times we encounter ambivalence when we are faced with a life decision, or stuck between two contending possibilities. For example, we may face ambivalence about where to live, what job to take, when to have children, what school to attend, how to navigate our relationships, and even the hobbies we want to enjoy.

In therapy, we can use Motivational Interviewing with a client to help them explore their ambivalence and increase confidence around decision making and navigating feelings. Ambivalence does not have to be something that creates unresolvable conflict in our lives. Instead, we can see ambivalence as a natural process we encounter multiple times throughout life. The reason for ambivalence is that we truly want to make the best decision for ourselves and our circumstances, but we have competing factors that make it hard to sometimes figure out what exactly that is.

We may also experience ambivalence around how we feel about a certain person or situation. For example, someone who is frequent dieter may have ambivalence in regard to the goals of enjoying meals with friends, and losing weight. Or a person may feel ambivalence about inviting someone to a party while knowing that other people there may not enjoy that person’s company. Ambivalence sheds light on our natural process of choosing, and making sense of competing feelings. It also allows us to examine that two emotions and feelings can exist at the same time.